Kala. My home.
Or, a place I once used to call home.
With hands behind my back, I wander around the city’s destroyed streets. The wood on every building has all but deteriorated, leaving nothing but its stone foundations behind. Still, I see bits and pieces of what once used to be.
If I keep going down this road, I’ll hit the food district soon. Around this time, there used to be a flood of working adults and students wandering intently, trying to reach their favorite restaurants for lunch.
“I wonder if P.D.’s Lizard Tail is open today.”
What am I saying? They haven’t existed for thousands of years now. Even though they shut down, people still carried on the memories of the food stand and its owner for a considerable amount of time.
People say that a person dies when they are forgotten. So what does that say about me? Nobody remembers me, but I’m still alive. Does that mean I’m dead, or in some kind of in-between state?
As the wind pushes back against where I’m walking, my hair, skirt, and cloak flutter in the wind. Once it dies down, strands of hair rest in front of my eyes, poking them ever so slightly. With one sharp head movement, I snap it back to how it was.
After a few minutes of idly walking, I stop in front of yet another ruined building. I stare at where its doors once used to stand. Even though there’s nothing there physically, I can still imagine the squeaky clean glass luring me to enter its sweet trap.
I know there’s no point in dwelling on the past. But I can’t help but reminisce.
“No, we can’t get dessert right now. Professor Hector will get mad at us if we’re late again.” Words slip out of my mouth faster than my brain can stop them. I glance around me, but nobody’s there.
“I paid for you last time! Actually, I’ve been paying for you for three months now.”
Stop. Please stop.
“Fine. But I want a bite of your lemon cupcake. It’s called the Saya Tax.”
I need to stop or else…
“S-See…?” my lips quiver. “I told you we were going to be late.”
“I’m never following you again.” I sniffle.
Even though I’m crying, I can’t help but smile.
Because despite what I’d say, we’d always go out for desserts the next day. At some point, even the strict professor stopped caring about her antics. He couldn’t just punish my partner in crime, and I’d always get caught in the crossfire.
Hanging my head, I slowly walk away from the bakery we once used to love so much.
It’s funny. I always used to complain about how small the city of Kala was compared to the rest of the nation, but now that nobody’s here, it just seems like it’s too big. Even during vacation, when students would move back to their homes, it never felt this empty.
The academy felt cramped. The city felt cramped. All I wanted to do was leave and live somewhere with a ton of space. Somewhere where I could walk freely without bumping into anyone.
A place where I wouldn’t need to wait in line for anything.
Each time the wind blows, a spiral of dirt and sawdust kicks up into the air. The way it dissipates into the sky reminds me of the souls that I’ve relieved using my Soul Sight. It was a fleeting instant, but there certainly was a time when I used to think I was a hero for helping animals die without any pain.
“Yeah, that one dog.”
The last creature I helped before my life turned upside down. Before “normal” became a distant memory.
“It’s all because of her. If she didn’t ruin it for all of us, none of this would have happened. That sick, twisted⸺”
I stop myself. I shouldn’t think about that right now. I won’t let her taint my memories anymore.
Upon making it to the gates, I twirl my body around to go back to the academy. From where I’m standing, the school’s large, unique structure stands out even amidst a sea of buildings. Its rectangular shape with tall, now-rusted metal gates calls attention to the prestige that the rest of the city didn’t have.
I’ve walked these broken streets so many times. But for some reason, it feels a bit lonelier today.
For a fleeting instant, there’s a thought to restore as much of the city as possible. But with what little time I have, I doubt I’d be able to even restore one building before the world comes to an end.
“Maybe I can start small,” I ponder to myself, staring at the academy in the distance.
Yeah.
Maybe I should clean the place up a bit. I’ve been meaning to get to it for a few hundred years now, but never got the motivation to go through with it. If I’m going to make something look nice, it’s got to be the main central courtyard.
Eating lunch, gossiping, and even just laying around doing nothing was something I should have cherished a bit closer to my heart.
My feet come to a halt as I’m greeted by the academy’s rusted metal gates. The protection that once surrounded the entire premises has now all but broken down into a shell of its former self. Being so lost in thought, I didn’t expect to get back so fast.
I turn my head over my shoulder, overlooking the rest of Kala. Closing my eyes, I activate my Soul Sight. When I open them back up, the world sinks into a deep blue. After a few seconds of staring at nothing, I shut off my ability.
After tapping my foot for a few seconds, I pull open the gates, making my way inside.
I know there’s nobody there. Not a single soul that I would have seen. But I still wanted to try.
…
I wish it was raining right now.
◇
The sun’s about to set.
A myriad of clouds float idly in the sky. Some are jagged, while others have a fluffier appearance. There’s something about subtle silhouettes that makes our imaginations run wild. I remember laying down in a grassy field, pointing at the clouds and shouting out who or what it looked similar to.
Come to think of it, I haven’t seen rainbow clouds in a while. It would have been fun to show, or even do cloud pointing with the foreigner, but I guess that’s a bit of a pipedream now.
I haven’t seen her in about two days. I’m not sure if she’s just gotten fed up with me, or if she gave up on her mission.
If only I understood her, things wouldn’t have gotten this bad.
Sweat drips down my forehead as I pull the last of the weeds in the academy courtyard. During these two days of downtime, I decided to tidy up the place that I’ve called home for so long.
I know it won’t really matter at the end of the day, but I figured showing love to something that’s shown me love for all these years was only fair. To put it simply, it’s a way to show my thanks for giving me so many great memories.
It’s funny, I can’t remember any of the bad ones.
Just as I let out an exhausted sigh, I hear a soft voice call out from behind.
“Would magic not have been sufficient to complete this task?”
It’s an all too familiar voice. Turning around, I watch as the orange rays of the setting sun gleam in between us like a wall.
Just like the first morning, she’s wearing the school uniform that once flooded this academy’s grounds.
“I mean, I probably could have used magic to dust and clean the place.”
“But I felt like this was better.”
I say, taking a large gulp of water from my metallic bottle.
“How so?” she asks. Her gaze is softer than it was a few nights ago, but still sharp enough to make me want to watch my words.
“Well, because I love this place.”
“It carries precious memories of my past, and the people I cared about the most.”
After a momentary pause, the foreigner’s expression sours.
“I do not understand why I behaved the way I did.”
“After our discussion, I recalled my projection and intended to never return.”
“I felt ashamed of my words.”
“Then why’d you come back?” I ask sincerely, making sure there isn’t a hint of hostility in my tone.
She freezes up, like I’ve asked the world’s strangest question. Darting her eyes all over the place, it’s obvious even from where I’m standing that she’s having trouble looking for a suitable answer.
Not for me, but rather, for herself.
“I was wondering about that myself.”
“The first night, all I could think of was an appropriate apology.”
“Even though hours had passed, I kept feeling this uneasiness in my chest.”
She balls her hands up to a fist.
“Whenever I found a way to approach you, a strange sensation halted me.”
I can see her lower jaw pop out, indicating that she’s biting down her teeth.
“So you only came back because we had a common goal? Nothing else?” I ask, my smile having long faded from my face.
She looks down disappointedly. “I am unsure. I do not understand these feelings stirring from within.”
“But I wanted to talk to you once more. I wanted to spend time with you once more.”
“Even if we abandoned our goal to find a name, I did not want to lose the connection that we possessed.”
“The fear of being too late made me act, but there was something else at play that tugged me forward.”
“Before I realized it, I was standing before you.”
“So please, please stay by my side.”
“I won’t leave. I won’t end my projection.”
“Please let me spend at least another minute with you.”
“And if you are able to, please tell me what this unease I’m feeling is.”
“It’s something I won’t be able to understand by my own efforts.”
“I need you, Saya.”
My body moves on its own, and I place my hand on top of her head.
“You don’t need me to tell you how you’re feeling,” I say quietly.
“That’s something you need to discover yourself.”
“And that’s fine.”
“You came back anyway.”
“To me, that means a lot.”
“You took a step to talk to me again, you opened up your feelings to me rather than keeping it inside you. I’m really proud of you for that.”
Raising her head, I stare into her watery eyes. I didn’t know moon projections had the ability to cry.
“Was I… unpleasant to be around?” she asks, her voice cracking every other word.
“Would you have preferred someone much less troublesome?”
“Nah.” I smile at her. “Then that wouldn’t be you.”
“There wasn’t a single human that used to live in this world that wasn’t troublesome or difficult. You just had your own way of displaying your emotions, and I wasn’t able to accommodate that.”
“So I’m sorry too.”
“Why are you apologizing, Saya?”
Her question makes me chuckle. My arm moves on its own, as I slam my palm against her back.
“You’re an idiot, aren’t you?”
“Because I was being difficult too.”
“Just because you did something to upset me doesn’t mean you were the only one at fault. This also applies to everything you do in life.”
“It’s… not just my fault…?” she asks as I wrap my arm around her neck. I don’t know whether or not it’s because I’m feeling much more at ease, but I’m sure I’m giving her a cheerful smile.
“It’s not.”
“How you live life from now on isn’t something for me to decide for you. So I hope that in the future, even after I’m long gone, you’ll be able to take that lesson to heart.”
“Just like how I carried Hana’s words into my heart after all these years.”
I pull away and take a step back.
She raises her arm to wipe her own tears. The once ice-cold, formal expression she had feels like a relic from the past. Right now, she reminds me of one of the students that used to attend here.
No…
She feels like a friend.
“What if… I don’t?”
“Huh?” Her question snaps me away from my momentary trance.
“What happens if I don’t follow your lesson to heart? What if I forget partway, like you did?”
I know she’s asking sincerely, but for some reason it feels a bit hurtful when she says it like that.
“Then that just means you’ve made a mistake. Just like I did.”
“So when that happens, it’s up to you to fix it.”
She nods, taking a deep breath after. Satisfied with our resolution, I fixate my gaze high up into the skies.
As the stars begin to paint the world above, I’m met with an unfamiliar sight.
Being so fixated on the white moon, I realize that tonight…
The moon is yellow.