I find myself in the middle of a grassy field. There are no buildings in the distance, only trees. The wind’s breeze is chilly, but it's nowhere comparable to the winter gale that I’ve gotten used to at this point.
With each blow, the grass blades sway side to side. The vibrant, earthy smell is the only thing my nose can pick up. This all seems so weird, but for some reason, my body feels as relaxed as it could be.
My breathing is stable, and not even a shred of anxiety pounds in my heart. Is this heaven? Did I die?
Scanning the area around me, I see a small figure in the distance. It’s someone’s head. Their black hair greatly contrasts with the clear blue skies and vibrant blades of grass. If anything, I’m sure my blue hair probably fits into this world better.
But, who is it? Did someone else die with me?
Upon taking a few steps closer toward the head poking out, I pause, my breath hitching in surprise. It’s that boy. The boy that I rescued, the one that was kidnapped by the strange, gray monster. He’s wearing the same exact outfit that I last saw him in, as if he was transported straight from the real world.
The boy is smiling and playing with a few rocks like they’re toys. His butt is firmly placed on the bed of grass like it’s a pillow. From the looks of it, he managed to recreate the entire layout of Yucu Saa with only a few sticks and stones. It’s kinda impressive, really.
I wonder what he’s doing here. No, more importantly, I wonder how he’s able to pretend like everything’s alright.
Something pounds at my chest. I want to talk to him, but for some reason, I can’t help but hesitate.
Then, when he turns straight forward, I can see his eyes from the side. We haven’t made eye contact yet, hell, I don’t know if he can even see me. But for some reason, there’s now this urge for me to care for this child.
No, I know better than anyone why I’m feeling like this. This kid, he’s just like me.
Cracking a faint smile, I get closer and closer to him. My steps tap against the soil, creating crunching sounds as my shoes crush the flora beneath my feet. It’s so strange. Before, I wouldn’t even bat an eye at moving through something as simple as grass like this.
Maybe this world just enhanced my senses, or maybe I was just too busy with the world’s problems that I never truly cared to notice. Now that I think about it, I used to love the sound of nature whenever I woke up.
The sound of flowing water, the chirping of birds, the sound of shoes clicking against stone floors, they were all things that I loved near and dear to my heart. Mom always used to tease me about it, but ended up tapping her fingers against some wooden planks to help me fall asleep.
But after they died, I stopped caring so much. Everything around me just seemed heavier, it all seemed much more dull and grayed out. I could see the colors of the world just fine, but I couldn’t hear the life behind it anymore.
I pause in front of the boy, who still hasn’t noticed me. He’s got his back turned against me, still playing with his hand-crafted map of Yucu Saa. I stare at it for a few more seconds before drawing in a breath to say a few words to him.
I’m not sure what I expect. I don’t know what’ll happen to me if I break this peaceful atmosphere. But when I looked into that kid’s eyes, I knew I had to do something. Thankfully, even after their death, my parents helped me realize things I never would have realized on my own. They were so loving and supportive.
And I think it’s about time that I do the same for someone else. I’m deeply loved by mom, dad, and Albo. So if I can help someone else experience that level of intimacy, then I won’t hesitate to jump on that ship.
“Nice map you have there.”
Huh? My voice seems much deeper than before. I was too deep in my own thoughts that I didn’t notice another crucial detail. If I was still in my younger self’s body, the grass should have reached up to the middle of my legs. But they only touch the tip of my ankle.
The boy snaps around, a surprised expression coloring his face, as if I’m not supposed to be here.
“Who?”
“Ah, I guess I didn’t introduce myself. Sorry. My name is Saya Idlansil, a mage from the Kala Magic Academy.”
I extend a hand like he’s an old friend. Then, I’m hit with another realization. My right arm, which should be gone, is somehow still attached to my shoulder. This world is all kinds of strange. I’m not only in an older body, but I have my missing limb back?
“N-Nice to meet you, Miss Idlansil,” he says shyly, averting his gaze.
“Saya’s fine. What’s your name?”
“U-Uru…”
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of the name Uru before. That’s kinda cool.”
Uru squirms a little. It’s so painfully obvious that he’s uncomfortable even being around someone else, let alone talking to them. I rack my brain, trying to find ways to get this kid to open up to me.
If I’m dead, I might as well make a friend out of it.
Squatting, I point to his creation, “is that the city you live in?”
He nods.
“I see. Which part’s your favorite? Where do you like visiting the most?”
Without saying another word, he points towards a location that’s now near and dear to my heart. It splits off from the main road, and being surrounded by countless buildings, it’s a bit hard to notice, just like the real place.
But he’s pointing at the pond, where Mom and I had our discussion. Where Mom and I finally had a chance to bond.
“Yeah,” I say with a sigh, “I love that place too.”
“But…”
His voice crack catches my attention.
“I don’t know why, but they didn’t want me anymore.”
“I wanted to be with them. I was happy with them.”
“But for some reason, they didn’t want me.”
My heart sinks upon hearing his words. Sulva had mentioned the possibility of him having been a human sacrifice. But at the time when he told me, I was too concerned with giving him a snappy comeback to actually sit down and think about what he said.
This boy, they were really going to sacrifice him, weren’t they? I want to cry. I want to cry so bad for his sake. There aren’t any tears in his eyes, but the sadness that I’m reading from them is enough to crush anyone’s emotions.
My body moves on its own, and within a blink of an eye, I spread the warmth of my body to the boy. He gasps in shock. I don’t blame him, since I am a fully grown woman embracing a young child out of nowhere.
But no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to let go of him. And to my surprise, he doesn’t let go either. To be honest, I was doing this for me, acting on my own impulse, but it seems like he needed this too.
“Listen to me, Uru.”
“People in this world can be cruel. Sometimes, they don’t need rhyme or reason to do the things that they do. But that does not mean everyone’s the same as they are.”
“This world is vast and wide. There will always be someone who’ll be there to love you.”
With a soft voice, he asks, “Did you have someone like that too?”
Caressing the back of his head, I nod, “I do. They’re the most loving people I’ve ever met in my life. My parents, who support me from beginning to end, and my best friend Albo, who loves me so much he was willing to risk his life for me.”
“I learned so much during my time in the dream world.”
Pulling away, the boy looks at me with a new sparkle in his eye. I’m not sure if kids are usually this easy to convince, or if he just really, really needed that hug. Either way, I think I managed to get a positive result out of him, even if it’s temporary.
I stand up first and stretch as far as my body will reach. Just then, a strong breeze scatters my hair all over my face, covering my vision. When I snap my head back to clear the obstacle, a single strand of hair falls upon my hand. I can’t tell very clearly, but it doesn’t have the signature blue that I’m used to having.
“No way?! Do I have a white hair?!” I panic, scrambling at my head to pluck out another piece. I can’t be getting old this quickly, I’m literally eighteen!
The boy, who’s watching me intently, bursts into laughter. It starts off small with a chuckle, then he starts laughing so hard he falls sideways onto the ground, tightly gripping his stomach. I don’t quite get it, this is a serious problem for me.
“You’re funny Saya,” he says while wiping a joyful tear.
“I thought you were going to yell at me, but you’re a pretty nice person.”
I ask, “Hm? Why would you think that?”
He stands up on his own, dusting off all the dirt from his clothes.
“I created that dream world you were in. I felt a little bad seeing you get all sad, but it was interesting to see you talk to that nice lady.”
He must mean Mom. Wait, so then…
“Does that mean you’ve been watching me all along?”
Smiling proudly, he nods.
Well, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting. I should really stop jumping to conclusions the moment I’m presented with a problem. I can’t believe I thought I was dead this entire time. No, come to think of it, that’s what I thought the dream world was too when I first arrived.
“It was a bit weird at first, but your story kept getting more and more interesting.”
“Weird in what way?” I ask.
“Well, you never really belonged in the city. I’ve lived here all my life and I’ve never seen you. But when you were talking to that black suit guy, I realized you weren’t like the people who tried to kill me.”
Bending my upper body forward, I gently pat his head with a soft grin. This kid, he’s a lot stronger than I expected. So all this time, he was asleep because he was stuck here in this dream world.
He was all alone, trying to give others a world that he never experienced. A world with nothing but pure love.
“So that’s why my parents were there…”
“Thank you, Uru.”
“You truly are a good kid.”
Taking my compliment earnestly, he lets out a bashful chuckle while scratching the back of his head. I’ve barely known this kid for ten minutes, but it feels like I’ve known him for decades. My heart feels at ease just looking at him, giving me this motherly urge that I’ve never felt before.
It makes me want to protect him, no matter the cost. He deserves so much better. I don’t know what I was expecting when I was plunged into this world. In many ways, going against a twisted villain like Rias would have been much easier to confront.
But I suppose this isn’t so bad either.
“Then…” I speak up, letting go of my hand on his head. I stand tall above him, and his neck is bent to look up at me. His face is plastered with curiosity, eagerly awaiting my next string of words.
“Let’s get out of here. I’ll make sure you stay safe.”
As he extends his hand, there’s a sense of bond and camaraderie between us. Maybe this kid was yearning for someone like me to come along, and quite frankly, I might not have been able to fulfill his request if he appeared before me a few days ago.
But after seeing my mom, after talking to both my parents, I feel ready to take the next step of my life. I’m ready to improve, and be better. Most importantly, I’m ready to give it my all for the sake of not only someone else, but for myself too.
It’s about time I become someone worthy of standing on my own two feet, without needing excuses. My entire journey, I kept telling myself everything I was doing was for the sake of Albo, and to an extent, it’s true.
But it’s also unfair to him. My hardships, my growth, it was because I set out on a journey to save Albo that gave me these experiences, but it was the help of everyone around me who helped me see who I was truly meant to be.
I’m ready to live my best life.
“Not so fast.”
Before I’m able to take Uru’s hand, a sinister voice echoes from the skies. My head naturally shoots upward, but there isn’t even a single bird in the sky.
“This voice…” I stagger. The world around me starts to darken. Clouds that were not there a few seconds ago seemingly materialize out of nowhere. It startles me at first, but then I remember that we’re still technically in a dream world.
“W-Wait! Protector! I’m okay now!” Uru frantically calls out. Does he know that strange creature that I’ve been fighting against? No, it makes sense, there would be no reason for that abhorrent beast to defend a child when it killed countless others.
I fire up my magical energy, the gears within me start to whirl. Unlike in my child body, my magical gears seem to flow far easier and more naturally, like a truly well-oiled machine. Or maybe it’s like I gained years of experience.
“Master! Thou shalt not leave my protection!”
“Thou didst desire a world without pain. This is that world!”
“If thou leavest this realm, then all suffering shall return. Thou canst not remain safe forever!”
My mouth moves on its own, reacting aggressively towards the voice. “Shut it! How can you expect him to grow, become a better person, become a man, if he’s perpetually stuck in a world that he can’t even interact with?”
“Thou art mistaken. My master did not remain at the far end of this realm out of obligation. He could have joined the others, had he so wished. He simply chose not to.”
“So, what? Now that he’s experienced a bit of growth, should he go back to a world that he knows is fake?”
“Memories are fickle things. If my master so desires, I can erase them as easily as men draw breath. I shall consume all nightmares, cleanse this world of evil, and grant my master a world worthy of his love.”
“I…” Uru stutters, drawing his hand back. It’s clear that the monster’s words influenced his mind even slightly. I could try to convince him, but I feel like that’ll only make things even more complicated. There’s nothing worse than two forces trying to pull a kid in different directions.
My fight isn’t to convince the boy by talking to him. I have to make sure to convince him that the outside world is not as bad as it seems!
“It’s never as bad as it looks.”
Just like Kanami said to me once!
“Interesting,” I raise a brow, “so fundamentally, you don’t understand the fact that memories are what make humans, human. If you deleted his memory of our interaction, the world he saw while spectating me, and even his near-death experience, then what’ll be left of him?”
“Fool. He will return to a happier time.”
“He’ll return to a time where he wasn’t aware. He is who he is now because of the experiences he went through before. You’ll forever be stripping away a part of him that he’ll always feel is missing, all because you don’t understand humanity.”
“And what maketh thee so certain that the world shall not harm him ever again?”
“Because I’ll be there to look out for him. He’ll grow up into a good man, a fair man, and a trustworthy man. And to achieve that, he doesn’t need even a single lick of your disgusting presence.”
The ground shakes violently, and before I know it, the gray monster emerges from the ground like an undead monster. Uru is knocked back, his small frame tumbling across the grassy field. I, on the other hand, stand firm with my hand on my hip.
I’ve faced this thing before. There’s nothing to be afraid of. If I show that to Uru, I’m sure he’ll see that I’m someone he can rely on. If I take down a being that he considers a strong protector, then I just need to surpass him in that role.
And even if I can’t look into the monster’s eyes, something tells me that it wants me to prove it as well.
It’s high time I get out of here anyway. Without restraint, I’ll blast this thing to smithereens!