It makes no sense to me. How is this even possible?
This body, this form specifically was when I used to be around, eight years old. There’s no way I could reverse time this far back, to the point where I’d go back nearly ten years. Plus, I don’t have any memories of ever visiting Aimafina, let alone Yucu Saa.
Around this age, I remember being stuck in an orphanage and being forced to do things that I never wanted to do.
“This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.” I repeat those words endlessly, hoping that I would suddenly knock back out, and reawaken in the real world. This has to be a dream, no, a nightmare.
Back when I hated myself the most, was when I was eight years old.
I kick the puddle on the ground, to distort my own reflection. I don’t ever want to see my face like this ever again. It took me so long to finally get over that fear and deal with what I’ve done in life, trying to atone for the sins I’ve committed.
So why? Why is this happening to me now of all times?
“This place has to be the underworld. Why else would I be getting tormented like this?” It made absolutely zero sense. This has to be the only logical explanation after going through such a physical blow when fighting against the monster.
I put both my hands on my head. The vibration from my trembling hands transfer over to my skull as well. The constant rattling my brain slowly beings to spin my mind, making it gradually harder to even think.
My body focuses all its efforts on trying to ease up my self-inflicted headache. I close my eyes and clench down my jaws, but the throbbing sting doesn’t subside even one bit. At this point, maybe it’s for the better, since I can’t be caught up on my negative thoughts.
I can’t afford to look at myself, not in this state ever again.
A strong jolt shoots into my eyes. I haven’t felt this in a while, to feel my Soul Sight going out of control, and moving like it has a mind of its own. It’s ironic too, maybe if I felt this the first time this cursed ability activated, maybe mom and dad would have been able to see something wrong with me, and stopped me from hurting them.
The world sinks into a deep blue. Thankfully with nobody being in front of me, the only soul and body that shines is my own, through the puddle’s reflection beneath my feet. Like instinct, my hand hovers over the shining orb near my heart.
“Maybe… just maybe…”
This is an all too familiar feeling. I know exactly where my mind wants to go. Even though I hate myself, more precisely, this state that I used to be in, I can’t and shouldn’t let myself wander into the deep abyss where all that lives are intrusive thoughts that only invite death.
I can’t. For my sake, and Albo’s.
If I wanted to die, I would have done so a long time ago. The fact that I can still activate my Soul Sight and see my own soul means that I’m still alive somehow. There’s no absolute evidence that this is the afterlife, and with the fact that I never once visited Aimafina when I was a kid, it’s safe to assume that neither of my previous guesses of where I’m at are true.
This could be a dream, or even an illusion. But if that’s the case, I just need to find a way to break free from it, no matter what. I’m not exactly sure what made my Soul Sight spring into action so suddenly, but if it’s trying to get me a free win, then I’ll take that gift any day.
Finally breaking free from the chains of anxiety, my hands slowly start to steady themselves at a rapid pace. My breathing is far calmer, and I can’t feel the excessive sweat dampening my now tainted white dress.
Taking a sharp inhale, I stand upright.
Looking at the facts, it’s painfully obvious that this is still Yucu Saa. It can’t possibly be the original that I encountered, since there is no known magic in this world that’s capable of raising the dead. So by process of elimination, it’s not the underworld, possibly. It’s absolutely not a time rewind, or else it wouldn’t be possible for me to even be here.
If this does happen to be an illusion, all I need to do is find the source and break it. It’s definitely easier said than done, but surely with my Soul Sight, it shouldn’t be that difficult of a task.
I take a step forward, the dirty water in the alley splashing loudly, rippling the liquid. But before I can put another foot forward, I’m greeted with a familiar voice that I haven’t heard for nearly a decade.
“Saya!”
Like snapping a finger, my Soul Sight deactivates, and the world returns to normal. My breath hitches at the sound coming from behind me.
It’s a feminine voice that I longed to hear one more time. There are hints of playfulness in the tone, making it sound like less of a worried call of my name, and more like a delightful surprise. Ever since that day, all I wanted to do was apologize and ask them to forgive me. After all these years, I finally, finally hear that voice.
Like instinct, I twist my body around faster than my mind can process what’s going on. There’s light beaming at the end of the alleyway, making it so that I can only see the silhouette in the distance. Their body figure is slender, and the person calling out to me is wearing a large summer hat.
My jaw clenches, and tears stream down my cheeks. The heart inside my body is heavier than stone, and it feels like the weight alone is enough to stop me from sprinting forward. But screw it, even if this is an illusion, even if this is a dream, I’m not taking any chances on this opportunity.
I kick my feet, almost slipping on my sandals. Frustrated, I fling my feet, tossing the nuisances away. There’s dirty water seeping into my bare feet, but right now, I couldn’t care less, even if a knife was lodged into my heart. Finally, I burst into a sprint with both my arms wide open. The silhouette responds in the same way, bending down slightly to match my body frame.
With a cracking voice, I yell out at the top of my lungs.
“MOMMMM!!!”
Her frame gets closer and closer. I can feel her. I just want to hug her as soon as possible. I want to tell her all I’ve done, and everything I’ve gone through. I just want her to know how much I’ve been giving it my all, and it’s so close to me, just give it to me!
With a strong leap, I plunge into the world of light. My vision finally settles on the beauty my mother once used to carry. She smiles as we make contact, using her taller stature as a way to support and counter my incoming momentum.
Wrapping her arms around me, she twirls my light body around, and I feel the warm breeze of the wind hitting my face, and fluttering my long dress and hair. Her pale skin and blue eyes glimmer under the sunlight, while her long, braided brown hair swings like a spear, entrancing me with a smile I never thought I’d ever see again.
As our momentum fades, she sets me back down on the ground, my still wet feet catching every speck of dirt and dust. Extending her arms, she pulls back, glancing down at my stained dress. A look of concern crosses her face, but it’s not one of annoyance, but of slight disappointment.
“I just washed this, honey! You already stained it?”
I stare at her. It’s not that I didn’t understand her question, but something freezes me from the core. Is it the shock from seeing her for the first time in a long time, or maybe it’s the fact that I actually managed to touch her. There’s a part of me that expected her to phase right through, like a ghost.
“What were you doing in the alleyway anyways? I taught you better than to stand around in awfully suspicious places.”
A boisterous laughter booms behind her, “GAHAHAHAHA! She’s just as brave as her father!”
Seemingly appearing out of nowhere, my dad steps behind my mom, placing his veiny hands on her shoulder. He’s carrying a big smile, with his signature slicked-back blue hair striking out amidst even a city filled with demi-humans. His eyes are as plain as I remember, being the ordinary brown.
He’s wearing a white shirt, and short brown pants with a toolbelt around his waist. His height is slightly taller than my mom, around a third of her head if I had to guess. I can’t believe they’re both here. I thought this day couldn’t get better, hell, I thought today was going to be nothing but torment, but for some reason, I’ve been gifted with the greatest blessing.
Now that I think about it, it’s kinda crazy how much I resemble them.
Before I can even say anything, Mom throws a light punch of love to my dad in the stomach. “Honey, it’s important that Saya learns to stay away from suspicious places. She’s still a girl, you know.”
Chuckling nervously, he scratches the back of his head, “She’ll be fine! Even if something bad does happen to you, I’ll protect you, baby!”
He winks at me, all while wrapping his toned arms around Mom. They’re both arguing about what to do with me, but all I can see is the glint of love pouring from their brown and blue eyes. Despite each word being a slight jab at the other, I can tell they’re having fun while saying all those things.
Because they’re smiling.
While I’m lost in thought, I feel Mom’s soft hands gently brushing up against mine, and we interlock fingers. It’s enough to snap me out of it, and I look up at her. To my surprise, my vision is blurry, most likely from the tears that started pouring out without my consent.
“My, what’s wrong, dear? We’re not mad at you.” she kneels down and pats my hair with a soft grin.
“I don’t blame you, Saya. Your mother would make me cry all the time,” Dad says jokingly, as he lifts my tiny frame and puts me on his shoulder. I gasp at the sudden action. From just looking at him, you’d never expect him to be able to pull off such a physical move, but he is a farmer after all.
“Hey! You’re making me out to be a villain again!” she calls out, playfully lifting her hand to hit my dad again.
“Let’s go! Let’s go!” Laughing, Dad starts to lightly jog forward. His speed is just fast enough to escape Mom’s deadly fists of love, but it’s still slow to the point where she wouldn’t actually have to exert much physical energy, letting her just speedwalk to wherever we’re going.
I laugh with him, catching up to the moment.
Like mounted on a moving tower, we make our way through the crowd of humans and demi-humans alike. Now that I have context on why I was so short, and being on top of my dad’s shoulders, the seemingly daunting people that were bumping into me constantly no longer feel overwhelming.
There’s a sense of enjoyment in just taking the atmosphere in. I don’t have a destination, or a goal. Right now, I’m just sitting and letting the breeze hit my face, while the smell of delicious food seduces me. It’s like both my parents know their way around this city better than we used to in our own village.
After a few minutes, after taking a turn, I’m greeted with a strangely familiar house. It looks like it definitely doesn’t belong, even in such an architecturally unique city like Yucu Saa. While every building had unusual shapes and sizes, a single, small, rectangular house made of gray stone and a single wooden door feels so out of place.
It’s surrounded by a small patch of grass, surrounded by countless flowers and other kinds of plants. The grass isn’t too overgrown, which means that either Mom or Dad have been doing work to keep the place as presentable as possible.
Creaking the door open, we enter the nostalgic structure that resembles the home we used to live in back at the village. It’s so uncanny to the point that if someone were to have told me that they just lifted the land and plopped it down in the city, I wouldn’t doubt it.
There’s a single dinner table with four chairs surrounding it. Half of the surface is dedicated to the kitchen area, which currently only has a singular stone pot sitting on top of the resting flame stove. The other half is dedicated to anything miscellaneous like entertainment.
At the end, there’s a short hall that leads to the bathroom and two bedrooms. One was dedicated to me, while the other was for both my parents. Everything is so cramped one could say that it looks like a regular house just squeezed together.
Placing his hand around my waist, Dad pulls me away from his shoulder and puts me back down on the ground. I stare at him while he does so, our gaze quickly unbalancing due to the sheer height difference.
Mom follows inside after a few seconds, making her way towards the kitchen. She opens the stone pot, and smoke puffs out. After peeking her head slightly, she closes the lid back and turns back to us.
“Dinner will be ready soon!”
The door opens behind me once more. I turn my head sharply to see Dad’s body already half eaten by the outside world. Without a shred of a second thought, I follow quickly behind him, just barely making it before natural physics could slam the door.
He looks back down at me with a puzzled look. “Saya? Did you need something? You should go inside and take a seat.”
I shake my head. “I wanna be with you right now.”
“GAHAHAHAHA!!! Look at you! And here I thought you’d start getting rebellious around this age.”
“I was planning on watering the plants, did you wanna help me?”
I nod at his question. He then bends down, placing a hand on his chin and stares suspiciously into my soul. Not sure why I’m so on edge, but I flinch just before he could stop in his tracks, instinctively taking a step back. It has to be because I’ve had non-stop fights back to back, or maybe it’s long-lingering trauma from Albo’s teasing.
Dad then backs away, standing back up straight. His Birthmark begins to glow a bright baby blue. Turning around, he lifts his arm, and a blue magical circle materializes itself on the palm of his hand. Being faced with so many weird magic users lately, I almost forgot about how normal people used spells.
He shoots a rapidly streaming beam of water into two watering cans. The moment it starts overfilling, he turns off his Birthmark. He lifts one in each hand, unfazed by the weight it might be carrying. Then, he hands one to me.
If I was in my normal body, I wouldn’t have a problem holding it with one hand too. But because of this smaller, weaker body frame, I’m forced to use both my hands, and nearly all of my strength to even keep the metal object above my waist.
I water the plants, which require most of my attention. I never assumed that something so trivial and easy when grown up could be so difficult when you’re a kid. Slowly but surely, the volume of the water inside the can starts to diminish, and the weight starts getting lighter and lighter.
After a few minutes, and a few more rounds, we put the cans down and look upon our glorious work. Both me and Dad strike a pose of confidence, placing both arms on our hips, with our faces beaming with absolute pride, as if we’ve both just saved the world from a demon lord.
Letting out yet another hearty laugh, he yells out, “Good job! My dearest, loveliest daughter.”
I cringe at his words and stay silent. At first, I think I’m doing a good job hiding my true emotions, but the moment his gaze meets mine, his face becomes sullen. I must have been making some kind of expression to dissatisfy him.
His head hangs in disappointment, “tough crowd today…”
There’s a part of me that absolutely wants to do a fake laugh. But for some reason, not even a forced one manages to leave my mouth. Even still, there’s absolutely no way it wouldn’t sound so wooden and stale, he’d absolutely notice.
“That being said, you’re being awfully silent today,” he remarks.
To be fair, he’s not entirely wrong. I think I was told that I was quite the troublemaker at this age, even if I was the more introverted, silent type. But if I were to start talking right now, then I’m sure he’ll notice that the face he’s seeing and the way I’m speaking are the polar opposites of one another.
There’s a chance that once he finds out, the vibes will be completely off, ruining any chances of me maintaining this peaceful atmosphere. I don’t want to ruin the moment, so for now, I’ll have to pretend to still be oblivious.
Smirking, he asks, “maybe it has something to do with that Albo boy. Are you having some kind of romance problem? You can rely on me for any kind of adviceeee.”
THIS GUY!!!
He knows my weak point is Albo. I have to give him credit, he has far more awareness than I remember. When I was a kid, I remember assuming that he was just speaking with little regard for social cues. But looking at him now, he’s totally a schemer.
Ugh. I have to give him some kind of response…
“It has nothing to do with Albo!” I shout, my high-pitched voice pierces the silence of our lawn. “If you bring him up again, I’ll hate you one billion!”
There. A masterclass act from me. Not only did I reply to his question, but I also made sure to keep him shut down. Sorry, Dad. I want to talk to you, I truly do. But right now, I just want to savor this moment as much as possible, because I don’t know when I’ll be free from this illusion.
To really sell the act, I turn away with a pout.
I can feel his stare burning through the back of my head. Then, with a light chuckle, he says, “Well, that boy always was your weak spot.”
“So, how about we start talking for real, miss not eight-year-old Saya.”
“—GAH?!”
HOW’D HE KNOW?!
“I’m your father after all. If I couldn’t recognize my daughter’s behavior suddenly shifting in one day, then I’m nothing but a fool. Plus, you’ve been awfully aware of your mother and my activities, haven't you?”
My body deflates, forcing me to let out a sigh. Hanging my head low, as if I’ve gotten in trouble for doing something bad, I reply to him.
“Sorry, I just didn’t want to ruin this moment for you.”
“I didn’t want to ruin our happy family moment with me being all weird and stuff…”
Before I can utter another word, he slams his right hand down right onto the top of my head in a martial arts pose. The impact is so fierce I can immediately feel that part of my skull going numb. My eyes start to tear up in reaction.
—GHK!!!”
“Dad! What are you doing?! Why’d you hit me?!”
“What do you mean? Of course I’d punch you if you’re being an absolute numbskull.”
“Ruin this moment? Any time spent with my daughter is a moment of happiness and joy. There’s nothing that can come between us that can ruin a moment.”
“Besides, I’ve already gone through your eight-year-old self a long time ago. So it’s nice to be able to talk to someone who’s still my daughter, but wiser and smarter.”
His words are a hot knife that cuts my butter heart.
“I’m just older, Dad. Not wiser or smarter.”
“How come?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I just feel like I haven’t changed much at all. I’m still awkward and silent all the time. The only reason I even came out of my shell is because Albo’s sick. I couldn’t save you guys, so I want to at least save him.”
“I know you’re not real and this is some weird illusion. But I just thought I’d set you straight.”
What am I saying? I can’t believe I’m saying stuff like this to my own father. Immediately, I regret my choice of words and look up at him. But when I do, I feel the strong strike of another powerful blow from his hands.
“—GHK!!!”
“OW!!!”
Dad looks at me, unbothered by what I’ve said. “GAHAHAHA!!! DID THOSE FISTS FEEL REAL?!”
“S-STOP LAUGHING!”
He laughs for another minute or so, gripping his stomach as much as possible due to the strain his body was feeling from laughing too much. He curls forward, letting in gasps of air little by little, until eventually, he finally calms down. Meanwhile, I keep rubbing the top of my head over and over again. I can’t see it, but I’m definitely going to have a bump now.
Wiping off the tears from his face, he says, “Wooo. That sure was a hoot. I can’t believe you’ve grown up so much to the point you’d start having existential crises.”
“And that Albo boy, how lazy can he get? He got sick and now he’s having a young girl go out on a journey to save him? What kind of man is he?!”
“Don’t worry, Saya, take me to him, and I’ll be sure to teach him a grand lesson. If I punch him hard enough, he’ll definitely be healed. After all, you know what the youngsters say these days, ‘love fixes all’.”
I reply, “Dad. I haven’t met a single person who’s ever said that.”
“Well, you heard it here first then. Who knows, maybe I’ll be a trendsetter. GAHAHAHAHAH!!!”
A strong sense to defend Albo rises up in my chest. I know Dad’s just joking, but I can’t help but feel a bit offended that he’s accusing him of being lazy and not manly enough. It just feels like he’s trying to diminish everything I’m going through.
Before I can speak up, the front door slides open, and Mom yells out, “Dinner’s ready! Come inside.”
Still giggling to himself, Dad walks past me and enters the house. I hesitate, but upon seeing my mom’s face, which is telling me to step inside, I follow suit. Immediately, I’m met with the aroma of mixed vegetables.
The table’s filled with everything but a completed dish. There are plates full of meat and vegetables, but there are also strange clumps of what seems like dough. But the real mystery is the large, square metallic object sitting at the center. It seems like a press of some sort, with a lever to push down the top metal plate.
“What are we eating?” I ask, cocking my head.
“Mmm, you know, the sweet ladies that run one of the food markets taught me how to make this really famous, local dish called ‘huaraches.’”
“What’s a huarache?”
Just then, Dad places the clump of dough, which he reveals is actually composed of corn, on the metal plate. Then, he presses down as hard as possible, flattening it. Carefully lifting the thinly pressed dough, he places it on top of the pan, which is sitting on top of the still burning stove.
“You warm this up a bit, and then we put the sauce, and finish it off with the toppings!” Dad excitedly tells me, while tearing off chunks of the dough and tossing them into his mouth. At the rate that he’s going, it’s only a matter of time before he finishes the entire thing before it’s fully done cooking.
“Oh sweetie, I forgot to tell you, we’ve been living with a guest for a few days now. He’s gone out to get some extra dough, and he should be back anytime now.”
Mom’s words ring in my head. With how many people I’ve known at the village, it literally could be anyone. I’m still not sure if this is an illusion made by someone, but if it is, I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing Albo.
Before I can ask who it is, the door slowly creaks open. I hear the labored breath of a younger man.
“Here you go, Miss Idlansil. Thankfully they gave me a discount whenever I mentioned you to the vendor.”
My breathing freezes upon hearing the person’s voice. It’s familiar, too familiar, but not in a good way. His words are well composed and deliberate, while his voice is extremely deep, like a man who had just woken up and said his first few words.
When I turn around, my eyes scan him from bottom to top. He’s wearing black shoes, black pants, and a black jacket. Underneath, he’s wearing a white button-up shirt. If anyone were to look at just his attire alone, they’d assume he was a butler. But I’ve only met one other person who dresses like this.
“I’m so glad to hear that! Are you sure it isn’t because you’ve smitten the lady with your good looks?” my mom jokes, and he laughs back. But even her voice gets drowned out from my senses. My breathing gets heavier, and my jaws clench in response to the pure, unadulterated hatred residing within my heart.
The world sinks into a deep blue before swapping back to reality. I can’t let my Soul Sight take over now, I need to confirm this man’s identity on my own.
Finally, I reach his face. There aren’t many wrinkles, and his hair is as generic as one could get, being a jet-black color. But his most standout feature is his crimson red eyes. The man before me is younger than I remember, that’s for sure.
But he’s without a doubt…
Him.
He’s the reason Albo’s in a coma.
It’s all his fault.
It's him. It's him. It's him. It's him. It's him. It's him. It's him. It's him. It's him. It's him. It's hi▅▅▂▂▂▃▃▅▅ ! !!
IT’S.
HIM.
“SULVA.
VERA.”